I Want To Take This To My Bedroom And Do Things To It.

 

It makes me thrash. In a good way.

 

Mon dieu!

Hot French bitch is hot, French and the HBIC

Also, I too love to sit in the bath fully dressed and play badminton in my living room, don’t you?

And that hipsters are annoying in non-English speaking countries too.

Housekeeping

I’ve neglected you of late, I know. I die of the shame. So here, in my beloved list form, is some stuff you should think and consider as your drink yourself into unconsciousness on this warm spring eve.

1) I read The Tenant of Wildfell Hall. I wish I hadn’t a lovely little story about emotional manipulation and hot guys who be packin’s bein’ all rebel with a cause a la nineteenth century ruined by being written by a Brontë sister and their godforsaken love of God and fuckin’ Jesus.

2) Also now reading Somerset Maugham’s Of Human Bondage. Yeah, wish I wasn’t. If you ever desire to read this just skip from about page 250 to 400 otherwise you will find yourself sitting on public transport tutting, rolling your eyes and lobbing it across the train with an exasperated “Oh, for fuck’s sake.” at the pathetic protagonist’s lack of a backbone or any sort of testicles.

3) Saw True Grit. Friend and I did so on a whim after we decided Never Let Me Go looked depressing. Instead we got weirdo southern cowboys and proto teenage lesbians. And Matt Damon doing a Chuck Norris impression. And squickly violence. This was the week after we went and saw Black Swan and were both still “Ew, EWWW!” over the scene with the finger…

3a) I still love you Keira Knightley.

4) I’m on a diet. This is exciting, no?

5) Read this

6) And then pay it no heed, cos girl you FIERCE! (Except you, you’re ugly).

7) I bought new shoes! Hurrah for credit card debt and our generation thinking nothing of spending money we haven’t got!

8 ) Met The Duke and Duchess of Gloucester, Prince Richard (Who?) and The Duke of Westminster over’t weekend. And also John Prescott. Google him you ignorant, unwashed hobos.

9) And by met I mean served them food at a 5* hotel.

10) And by served I mean I nearly dropped it in their laps and then got yelled at by my manager.

Wish you were me yet?

Intellectual Stimulation of the Day

Here is Amanda Palmer. I think she’s a fan of vajazzling.

 

And now for some lo-fi lesbians

There is a tube strike.

I have a cold.

I have work later (ew).

Here are Tegan and Sara with a beautiful, depressing song.

I have been playing this on repeat for two days. Still not sick of it.

Howevs. Some thoughts.

1) Lesbian identical twins?

2) From Canada?

3) From Calgary in Canada? Who knew there were even women there? I thought frontier towns were all about sodomy and roughhousing. Who knew the prairies were so advanced?

4) Ew. Canada. What’s that about you hypocritical, ultra nationalistic, schizophrenic, seal cub hating, are-we-French?-No-were-just-America-but-colder fat bastards?

5) Stop thinking you’re so cool with your socialised healthcare you smug fucks. Other, poorer countries manage it so stop being so proud of yourself. Also, what’s with ice hockey? Eh?

6) And also speaking of ‘eh’. It’s not just a Canadian word. Other English-speaking countries use it as well. Just as small-minded and inward looking as Americans. Except with an annoying inferiority complex and a desperate need to be liked.

7) Anyway, the song is nice.

Screw you Snooki: this is my Jesus now!

Hola

First: The title  is a quote. My eternal love to whomever knows what celebrity said it.

Secondly: For the past week or so I have not been able to get the magnificent and amazingly catchy tunes of one certain Welsh-Greek songstress out of my head.

See what I mean, chicos?

My god the woman is amazing. And Greek. And Greek’s in pop culture are very rare and delicate creatures-they shun the limelight. Unlike those rowdy Italians. Take Mambo Italiano versus My Big Fat Greek Wedding for example. Actually don’t cos that movie was shit.

But anyway it’s all sorts of fabulous. Well, it would be but I saw this here on youtube the other day

Oh, god the voice. It’s like a retarded child’s been given hallucinogens and forced to try to repeat the alphabet backwards. what godawful place did she learn to speak like that in? I see from her Wikipedia profile (never wrong) that she went to Boarding school. Surely then she should be posher and less brain-dead sounding?

Also that was not profound. That was about as profound as when Cable News let Ashton Kutcher on to discuss Gay Rights. Ye gads.

Well from here on in it’ll be all about the music. Unlike certain other artists who I would listen to read the telephone book (I’m looking at you Lindsay. But then I’m always looking at you).