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Archive for March, 2011

Neither Fair Nor Accurate

Posted by idetest on March 31, 2011

The previous post was a list of 100 books that the BBC has compiled which it thinks everyone should read but estimates that most will read on a very few of.

Naturally it has been on facebook. And naturally my computer skills failed me so that’s why this post in two parts.

Also I only gotl ike 25.  Though this was totes because I had seen so many of them as movies or….as BBC adaptations. See, it’s shooting itself in the foot. It’s own, smug contemptuous foot.

How many have YOU read?

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List, List, List

Posted by idetest on March 31, 2011

1
Jane Austen
2
JRR Tolkien
3
Charlotte Bronte
4
JK Rowling
5
Harper Lee
6
Various
7
Emily Bronte
8
George Orwell
9
Philip Pullman
10
Charles Dickens
11
Louisa M Alcott
12
Thomas Hardy
13
Joseph Heller
14
William Shakespeare
15
Daphne Du Maurier
16
JRR Tolkien
17
Sebastian Faulk
18
JD Salinger
19
Audrey Niffenegger
20
George Eliot
21
Margaret Mitchell
22
F Scott Fitzgerald
23
Leo Tolstoy
24
Douglas Adams
25
Fyodor Dostoyevsky
26
John Steinbeck
27
Lewis Carroll
28
Kenneth Grahame
29
Leo Tolstoy
30
Charles Dickens
31
Mark Twain
32
Jane Austen
33
Jane Austen
34
CS Lewis
35
Khaled Hosseini
36
Louis De Bernieres
37
Arthur Golden
38
AA Milne
39
George Orwell
40
Dan Brown
41
Gabriel Garcia Marquez
42
John Irving
43
Wilkie Collins
44
LM Montgomery
45
Thomas Hardy
46
Margaret Atwood
47
William Golding
48
Ian McEwan
49
Yann Martel
50
Frank Herbert
51
Stella Gibbons
52
Jane Austen
53
Vikram Seth
54
Carlos Ruiz Zafon
55
Charles Dickens
56
Aldous Huxley
57
Mark Haddon
58
Gabriel Garcia Marquez
59
John Steinbeck
60
Vladimir Nabokov
61
Donna Tartt
62
Alice Sebold
63
Alexandre Dumas
64
Jack Kerouac
65
Thomas Hardy
66
Helen Fielding
67
Salman Rushdie
68
Herman Melville
69
Charles Dickens
70
Bram Stoker
71
Frances Hodgson Burnett
72
Bill Bryson
73
James Joyce
74
Dante
75
Arthur Ransom
76
Emile Zol
77
William Makepeace Thackeray
78
AS Byatt
79
Charles Dickens
80
David Mitchel
81
Alice Walker
82
Kazuo Ishiguro
83
Gustave Flaubert
84
Rohinton Mistry
85
EB White
86
Mitch Albom
87
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
88
Enid Blyton
89
Joseph Conrad
90
Antoine De Saint-Exupery
91
Iain Banks
92
Richard Adams
93
John Kennedy Toole
94
Nevil Shute
95
Alexandre Dumas
96
William Shakespeare
97
Roald Dahl
98
Victor Hugo
99
Charles Dickens
100
Evelyn Waugh

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Housekeeping

Posted by idetest on March 23, 2011

I’ve neglected you of late, I know. I die of the shame. So here, in my beloved list form, is some stuff you should think and consider as your drink yourself into unconsciousness on this warm spring eve.

1) I read The Tenant of Wildfell Hall. I wish I hadn’t a lovely little story about emotional manipulation and hot guys who be packin’s bein’ all rebel with a cause a la nineteenth century ruined by being written by a Brontë sister and their godforsaken love of God and fuckin’ Jesus.

2) Also now reading Somerset Maugham’s Of Human Bondage. Yeah, wish I wasn’t. If you ever desire to read this just skip from about page 250 to 400 otherwise you will find yourself sitting on public transport tutting, rolling your eyes and lobbing it across the train with an exasperated “Oh, for fuck’s sake.” at the pathetic protagonist’s lack of a backbone or any sort of testicles.

3) Saw True Grit. Friend and I did so on a whim after we decided Never Let Me Go looked depressing. Instead we got weirdo southern cowboys and proto teenage lesbians. And Matt Damon doing a Chuck Norris impression. And squickly violence. This was the week after we went and saw Black Swan and were both still “Ew, EWWW!” over the scene with the finger…

3a) I still love you Keira Knightley.

4) I’m on a diet. This is exciting, no?

5) Read this

6) And then pay it no heed, cos girl you FIERCE! (Except you, you’re ugly).

7) I bought new shoes! Hurrah for credit card debt and our generation thinking nothing of spending money we haven’t got!

8 ) Met The Duke and Duchess of Gloucester, Prince Richard (Who?) and The Duke of Westminster over’t weekend. And also John Prescott. Google him you ignorant, unwashed hobos.

9) And by met I mean served them food at a 5* hotel.

10) And by served I mean I nearly dropped it in their laps and then got yelled at by my manager.

Wish you were me yet?

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Invade Canada Now. Or Die In The Eventual War (I’m going for subtle here, too much?)

Posted by idetest on March 23, 2011

I found this here.  I agree with everything it says. In fact, I do not think it goes far enough

Canada is also:

1) Full of maniacal serial killers (who are then captured by Angelina Jolie). Also people what do decapatations on intercity buses.

2) Second largest country, area wise, in the world. What are they hiding that they need so much space for?

3) Full of Catholics

4) Home to a nation of people that thinks men body slamming each other agaisnt a pane of glass is a healthy sport while carrying 6 ft sticks. Obviously borderline psychopaths and probably driven mad by the cold.

5) Probably in cahoots with the Russians, the Chinese or the Jews. Probably all three. And the Mexicans.

6) Has a socialised helath care system that it won’t shut up about (note; this is not a bad thing, but merely something what annoys moi).

All in all, I think still think we should invade.

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This.

Posted by idetest on March 21, 2011

I know I’ve been neglecting you lately little blog. But it’s only because I’ve been of being fabulous (read working and crying in a corner, cutting myself and wondering when this torment will end) but now I’m here with yet another fucking video. Which’ll totes make up for everything, right? RIGHT?

 

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I Forgot I Had This Blog…

Posted by idetest on March 1, 2011

OMG, my life of late, like literally. It has so not been worth making me die. So hard. So I comfort myself with this. He’s like the gay Chelsea Handler. Who’s the blonde Kathy griffin. Who’s the alternative Tina fey. Who’s the female Conan. Who’s the American John Cleese. Who was the 1970s Noel Fielding.

 

And you want to know why I compare Noel Fielding to gay satirical comedians. Mostly cause of this:

 

 

And, yes. This is family entertainment: British TV style.

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